Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i can't believe i had my finger in that
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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