i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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