Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Randomize
