we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This is my gift to your gina
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
