mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
