No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
