U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
