Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
it glows. i had to have it.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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