Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
