I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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