I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
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