loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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