just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize