Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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