Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
