even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
