You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
