so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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