If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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