as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
