Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
