Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
