You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
