You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
