We won't sleep together?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
