Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
