he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
