dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
