Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
