First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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