Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
