can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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