If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
