Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
