just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
