i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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