Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
