dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
