He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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