Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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