is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
