We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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