and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
