And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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