He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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