Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize