A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
