I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize