Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
