after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
