Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
