Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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