lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
