I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
