hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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