Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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