Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
