Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Let's get the cat blown out
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
