went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
