Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
its liver damage thursday
Randomize