dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
