Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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