I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
